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Month: February 2011

A Case for Love Vocabulary

A Case for Love Vocabulary

Julien Smith wrote an article titled “The Case Against “I Love You” where he argues that using the phrase “I love you” may not be such a good thing:

“I love you” isn’t a death sentence for relationships, but it sure as hell does make couples lazy. It takes all of these deep feelings and coalescing them into one vague blob of a sentence that is entirely meaningless.

Using the word “love” means a lot at first– there’s anticipation, tension, etc. It represents a million little things, but over time, it gets overused. It starts to mean nothing– especially if you’re saying it as often as the typical couple.

I have never said “I love you”. I’d appreciate the intention behind it if someone was saying it to me, but I’d be curious about what that declaration entails. Like many other things in our society, it seems like one of those milestones that everyone is supposed to go through. It doesn’t matter why, it doesn’t matter how.

Smith goes on to offer a solution:

Try this instead: If you have feelings that are welling up inside of you and that you want to express how much you care about someone, tell them why and what they are. Don’t just use a phrase that everyone else uses– tell them what’s unique about your feelings and what you think of them.

As I’d argued many times, the imprecision of some of our most used words is a big cause behind people’s unsatisfactory results. Words like happiness and love are in everyone’s list of goals, but they act as placeholders for more accurate concepts, later discovered (or never), instead of actual sensations. My idea of communicating my feelings and telling someone what they mean to me, means saying the unique things that only that person could spark on me.

When it comes to declarations of love, and following Smith’s recommendation, I’d dare any brave couple out there to ask the following: “What do you mean by that?” Be careful, you may not be pleased by their reply. In fact, I’d bet that most people wouldn’t go there because they may realize that love isn’t that special.

Uniqueness is.

Quotes February 2011

Quotes February 2011

“College is like a holding pen. A place where we go to pretend we’re functioning adults. ” – Nicole Antoinette Ross

“Does it make you money, or does it make you happy? If the answer is no, move the fuck on.” – Adam Carolla

“When we arrive, we focus on novelty. When we leave, we focus on symbols of what’s left behind.” – Carlos Miceli

“Meritocracy is impossible, but it’s the best we got.” – Carlos Miceli

“Authority forgets a dying king.” – Tennyson

“The most effective way to build a network is not to go to school, but to be successful. That way you will have all the MBA friends you could ever want.” – Philip Delves Broughton

“Education has become a way to avoid thinking about your future. Instead of thinking about your future, you go to school and defer thinking about your life.” – Peter Thiel

Waking education

Waking education

Dialogue from Waking Life:

I like that. It’s like there’s this whole telepathic thing going on that we’re all a part of, whether we’re conscious of it or not. That would explain why there are all these, you know, seemingly spontaneous, worldwide, innovative leaps in science, in the arts. You know, like the same results poppin’ up everywhere independent of each other. Some guy on a computer, he figures something out, and then almost simultaneously a bunch of other people all over the world figure out the same thing. They did this study. They isolated a group of people over time, and they monitored their abilities at crossword puzzles, right, in relation to the general population. And they secretly gave them a day-old crossword, one that had already been answered by thousands of other people, right. And their scores went up dramatically, like 20 percent. So it’s like once the answers are out there, people can pick up on ‘em. It’s like we’re all telepathically sharing our experiences.

This is what I believe is happening with traditional education. Here and there, things are happening. You can feel it. Change is coming and it’ll be huge. Communication tools are showing us that we are not alone in thinking that the way we are taught doesn’t make sense, that this can’t be it.

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